Always gotta make me feel like shit eh. Actually, sorry, you remind me what shit I am.
I can’t seem to be able to know how to show my emotions or convey my feelings. I want to show that I care but the way I attempt to often creates an awkward situation for the other person. An understanding person knows my intentions are pure but that still doesn’t take away the awkwardness. What was meant as a thoughtful gesture or question results in this conflict in the other..whether to laugh the uneasiness off or to explicitly try to outline where I went wrong. But who does that? Only family members and friends who are close enough to not be afraid of the shame they may bring about.
I’m sorry but these caring thoughts don’t come with confidence to me. Their new and tender. Like a toddler, still learning the do’s and don’ts of pleasure and pain, I don’t know the rules of the game. I’m straightforward because I’m naïve. I’m naïve because..honestly, I’m emotionally immature.